Consumed by Love?

So, here I am at work sitting around and my heart is about to explode, Im consumed by the most wonderful woman in the world and Im pushing her away because of my crazy intense feelings for her.

So heres my situation.. I met a girl, the most fantastic woman Ive ever met in my life. She's in the same situation as I am. Getting divorced, kids etc. I fell in love with her, moved out the house and divorcing my wife. Mind you, I didnt leave/divorce my wife because of her, but because she allowed me to see what a real relationship should be like, to make me see that life is better than what I was living.

My feelings toward her can at times consume me, I want to be with her every moment of every day. I want to hold her in my arms and have her at my side all the time. But she's just going through a divorce herself, been in a relationship for a long time as I have and isnt ready to comit to a dedicated realationship. Which as sad as it makes me, I can understand.

So my objective is to document my feelings in hopes that I can step back and look it them and better understand my feelings.

So, right now, I feel alone, I feel like I want to be with her terribly. I want to call her on the phone and tell her how much I love her and how much I want to be with her. My heart aches for her companionship.

God it hurts just to write about it. I wish I could be with her right now.
My problem is that I know logically that by doing the things that I so desperately want to do will drive her away. Women always seem to want to be with a man who doesn't want them, or that only takes a casual liking to them. I know that if I want to keep this girl I have to not be so obsessed with her, I have to tell myself that my relationship with her is only a casual one. But it hurts so bad to not call her all the time, chat with her online, send her love notes. When Im not with her I can feel a hole in my heart that only she can fill.

Why am I so consumed by her? I have a lot of ideas:

1. She's the first girl Ive really loved in the last 15+ years and the thought of her not being with me sucks
2. Im afraid to be alone.
3. My self esteem issues keep telling myself that Im an ugly duckling and that I'll never find a woman as beautiful as she is again.

God I feel so fucked up. I wish there was an easy answer to all of this.

Sometimes I feel like I should just leave her because I cant stand the pain of being away from her. But I know thats not the right answer either and maybe just maybe my relationship with her will help me get through some of these issues.

I just wish it didnt hurt so much :(

2.